Fifty-fifty with Bonnie

Fifty-fifty with Bonnie by W. C. Tuttle is a humorous Western short story written in the early 20th century. It playfully satirizes ranch life through a whirlwind of misunderstandings, Eastern reformist zeal, and a cowboy’s inventive lies that set a whole outfit on its ear. Two determined Eastern ladies, Miss Clarissa Vanderberg and Miss Genevieve Elberfield, arrive at the Seven-A ranch by mistake, expecting prior arrangements; prankish cowhand Chuck Warner covers the mix-up with tall tales that convince everyone of everything—from a pending sale of the ranch to a supposed marriage between foreman Swede Johnson and an Indian woman, Potlatch Annie. Pushed by “good deeds,” the ladies have Annie and her children hauled to the ranch, just as owner Hank Padden returns to explosive confusion. Matters peak when Chief Running Wolf storms in and an accidental shot sends the whole crowd scrambling. The sheriff then arrests Padden on a warrant the ladies swore after believing more of Chuck’s stories, until Johnny Myers of the Triangle outfit arrives and reveals the women meant to visit his ranch for a schoolgirls’ outing. With the blunder exposed, the women prepare to move on, while Chuck slips away on a westbound cattle car, cheerfully musing on the havoc his “fifty-fifty” with Bonnie has wrought.